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Forever Alone

Nov 12, 2021

In which I don my coaching hat (beribboned bonnet? jaunty fascinator?) and dole out opinions, advice, and general musings on how (and whether) to use dating apps without losing your mind.

“Most of what I shared in Season 1 was very thorough. I said exactly what I needed to say, and have nothing left to add. But...


Sep 29, 2021

In which I consult with a fictional Board of Directors, download Hinge, go on a date with a hot man, and finally answer the question I posed at the beginning of our tale.

Excerpt: “I used to feel such shame and embarrassment for how much I wanted my life to be like the stories I’ve loved my whole life. So much so...


Sep 22, 2021

In which I get called out so hard I break out in cold sweats, offend people at a wedding, surprise myself by getting a job, and rant like my life depends on it.


Excerpt: “I’m so fed up with how we speak to single women. Either we’re getting shamed for being single—and encouraged to lower our standards before...


Sep 15, 2021

In which I encounter a hot Scottish man on a train, zero in on a future mother-in-law, break up with the Universe, and finally drag myself to therapy.


Excerpt: “The weather was exactly what you’d expect when Kristen, my mom, and I stepped outside the airport in Scotland—a little cold, a little windy, and very...


Sep 8, 2021

In which I question the existence of God, flirt aggressively with a boy dressed as Jesus, get stalked by Sting, and develop remarkably witch-like powers.

Excerpt: “I grew up going to the Methodist church in our town. My mom first enrolled me in preschool there, and then eventually my parents started taking my little...